Dear Son

My dear sweet little boy,

We have to have a talk. I know that you are a good little boy who loves his mama and daddy very much. I know that you want to spend all of the time that you can with us. I understand that you are delusional enough to think that we are interesting and really very cool. I get it, I really do… I mean I would want to spend every waking and sleeping minute with me too… really!

But… and here it comes… mama and daddy need some no kid time. Yes… yes you have been doing better, you’ve stopped screaming as soon as I put you into your kiddie cell crib, but mainly because I make sure that you are passed out in dreamland when I do so. The problem I’m having is that you don’t let me get enough sleep you wake up during the night. Living off of 5 hours of sleep a night for the past 8+ months is making me a very grouchy, tired mama. I understand that you miss us and want to be with us, but night time is sleepy time. Not eat or play time, not cuddle with mama time, not throw a fit time… it’s sleepy time.

You see, I know that you are tired too – thrashing your head from side to side, angry with me as I try to substitute the pacifier for what you really want… your milk machine, which – while we are on the subject – is not a personal chew toy or even pacifier… and remember we do not tug on them, they are attached. I tried being sneaky last week and gave you water instead of your milk, but had to give in after you am, because who am I to try and fool you! You know your stuff, and that was not it. You won, I lost… and fell asleep in the rocker… again.

So this is all that I ask… Mother’s Day is coming up. It’s this Sunday. All I want is for you to sleep through the night. That’s it. Nothing more. Do you think you can do that for me?