Moving forward

It’s been an odd couple of days. I’m better today than I was on Thursday… or Friday for that matter. I still have my moments though. I keep looking at the spots where she would normally lay and half expect her to be there. Even now I want to put my foot out and rub her, because she would lay under my desk when I’d be at the computer.
I think the beagle finally realized that she’s gone yesterday. She doesn’t seem to bothered by it though. A few people have mentioned getting a new puppy. Hubby and I had actually talked about it a few weeks ago – before Sammie died, thinking not of her but of when Snickers goes, because she is older – and decided that we wouldn’t buy another one just yet. Besides, its not like it would be able to replace her – it would just be another dog to get used to and learn to love. I don’t want another dog. Not now at least. It’s hard enough being around the one we still have and not being reminded that Sammie’s not here.
I feel like such a whiny b*tch, but I can’t help it. I had that dog since I was 19 – she was the only constant thing in my life these past almost 12 years. So I’ll whine about it. She was my first baby with fur – she may not have always acted like the typical dog, but she acted right for me. She was kind and loving and had a terrible “little-dog-thinks-she’s-a-big-dog” complex. She was a bitch when she was tired and didn’t care if you wanted to snuggle or not. She was the best dog I could have ever wished for. So no, I don’t want another dog. I want her back