I’m the crazy one

You may now call me the crazy hormonal woman!

I think that I may have rightfully earned that title earlier this week…. but… in my defense, the guy was asking for it.

The day started out a pain in the butt. Noah had one of his “middle of the night wide awake and play with me” sessions, so both he and I were tired. We went on with our normal routine for the day and he took his first nap… great!! Everything was going fine and he even went down okay for his second nap… I wish that I could say he fell right asleep in his crib, but no, it happened on my lap. So there he was sleeping peacefully on my lap, while I sat at the computer and tried to catch up on emails, my reader and maybe even get a blog post pre-written (yeah that last one didn’t happen).

About 30 minutes into his nap, the doorbell rings… funny I wasn’t expecting a package, maybe it was something for Ray. Noah stirred a little, but kept his eyes closed and I figured I could get whatever it was after he woke up. Within seconds, the doorbell rings again. This time I know that it’s not UPS, Fed Ex or even the mail man… they all ring once or just knock on the door and leave. Noah is wide awake now and crabbily rubbing his eyes and I am pissed. I get up to see who is at the door and as I turn to go down the stairs, I look out the window and see a man walking quickly away. But wait… he stops and turns and walks back up. I hear the neighbors door shut and the man walks away again.

It.Was.A.Solicitor!!!

We have had a “No Soliciting” sign on the front door since the day we brought Noah home from the hospital. Some choose to follow it others not so much, either ringing the bell, knocking or just leaving their paper “trash” on our door.

Well… since Noah was wide awake, I decided to continue on with our day. I went outside and let the dog do her thing and then brought the garbage and recycling bins in. I then decided to walk to the mailbox (we have a community box at the end of the street) and check to see if we had anything in there. I was aware that the solicitor might still be in the cul-de-sac and thought to myself “If he so much as says 1 word to me, then I will let him have it!” I’m not a very confrontational person, so I doubted my ability to actually follow through with that internal threat.

As I stood at the mailbox I saw someone leaving a house across the street while holding a stack of fliers… and another one down the road. There were so many of them, I wasn’t sure anymore which one had rang our bell. I turned to go back to the house and there he was… The Solicitor. He just left the last home in our little circle and was walking towards me. This is what happened:

S: Hi! (poor sap didn’t know what was coming for him!)

me: What part of No Soliciting do you not understand?! (OMG I actually did it, I actually said it!!! I was in shock about it!)

S: (shocked look on his face but still smiling) But… I’m not soliciting

me: You’re going and ringing peoples doorbells and handing out fliers aren’t you? That is soliciting and I don’t appreciate it. You woke my child and I am pissed. (Well… I was pissed and I was on a roll!)

S: Oh I’m sorry… (looks at Noah) Hi baby! I have a two month old myself

me: (really does he think that he’s going to get sympathy from me because he tells me he has an infant? Yeah… I think not) Oh you do? Well, then you know to appreciate nap time and how annoying it is when someone wakes your child. No soliciting means just that… and if you’re handing something out, then don’t ring my bell and don’t leave it at the door.

S: I…. um… well… okay… sorry. (I’m turning to leave since I tried to make my point and just wanted to go home) Have a nice day.

me: (with my back to him walking away) Thanks. (mumble) Wish I could say the same to you…

As I’m walking away I realize that there was a guy sitting in the garage in the unit right across from the mailbox. He saw and probably heard the whole thing. It’s one of only 4 rental units in our subdivision and he had just moved in that weekend, so I wonder what he was thinking… probably that I am nuts and what type of neighborhood did he move into? Oh well… welcome to the neighborhood buddie!

I walked back home literally shaking from nerves. Like I said before, I never ever confront anyone. I’m not even good in a fight, because I clam up and keep everything inside. So this was a big deal that I actually spoke my mind. Was it necessary? Probably not, but I had to make the point that just because this idiot was passing out fliers for some kind of church gathering… a church and denomination that I don’t even belong to… did not mean that it wasn’t soliciting.

I guess I need to rewrite the No Soliciting sign we have posted on the door to include not only those two words, but also the definition of the phrase as well as a list of all of the groups that knock and leave their goodies mistakenly thinking they aren’t soliciting. I will also leave a note that I don’t want any fliers stuck in the door or on the handle either. (I mean really… an ad for a lawn care service? We live in a town home community where landscapers come and take care of everything weekly… I don’t need to weed and feed my lawn thankyouverymuch!!!) It’s either that or I leave a note under the No Soliciting sign that states that if they wake the baby (…toddler… whatever) then they have to come in and take care of him and deal with me!! hahaha!!!!!

So yes… you may call me the crazy lady… I’m sure that some of the neighbors now do now… and you know what I really don’t care, because if you mess with a pregnant, hormonal, exhausted mother of a toddler who likes to wake up in the middle of the night to play… well then you’re just digging your own grave!!