And the sleepless nights go on

Noah eating oatmealSo I’ve posted before about Noah’s sleeping problems, most recently while asking the question “Who needs sleep anyway“. Well the answer is that we all do… Ray, Noah and yes… even I need sleep.

The thing is that Noah obviously doesn’t agree with us. Though getting him to go to sleep at his regular bedtime has gotten better (most nights anyway), the night time interruptions have not. His newest thing is to wake up somewhere between 2 and 3 hours after going to bed. He immediately starts crying. If we go in there to comfort him, he usually reacts in 1 of 2 (okay maybe 3) ways… either he will want to be held until he falls asleep… and then when we try to put him back to bed he starts screaming (unless of course I passed out along with him and wake up an hour  or two later – which means that he is still passed out cold, then it’s easier to put him back in the crib)… or we will go in there and comfort him until he stops screaming crying, while leaving him in the crib. The problem with this method is that once he is calm, he thinks that we are there to play with him and that everything is a big ol’ joke. The third option that he gives us is that he is just a big old crab and unsatisfied with anything that we do.

Ray and I have had our fill of it. I can’t take the constant up and down anymore… heck it’s getting harder and harder to reach into the crib with this ever expanding belly of mine. Not to mention the hours that I (we) are spending awake because of this. So… we came to the conclusion that we are going to let Noah cry it out and I have to say, it is the hardest thing I have done so far as a parent! Ray spent a large portion of Saturday night going in and out of Noah’s room, trying to comfort him and get him to go back asleep while trying not to baby and coddle him. It took over 2 hours for Noah to fall asleep. Every time Ray came back out of Noah’s room, Noah would just start screaming louder and harder than before.

So… on Sunday we came to a new solution, whether it works or not only time will tell. We’re not going into the room at all anymore when he wakes so soon after going to bed. I will still go in and get him and give him his bottle at 4 or 5 am(yes he still gets a bottle then – my kid loves his food what can I say!), but only then. Sunday night he cried for 30 minutes and then fussed for another 15. Last night it was 1 hour of crying and 45 minutes of fussing/ stubbornly trying to stay awake. This kid sits up in his crib and you can see his head bobbing back and forth as he’s falling asleep while sitting, but he refuses to lay down!! Instead he gets angry and then stands up only to sit and do the head bob again until finally… eventually… he lays down and goes to sleep.

I hope that this will help break the cycle. I don’t know if it will, but I also don’t know what else to do. We have 4 to 4 1/2 months to get him to start sleeping a full night through in a healthy manner. I would love it if I could break him of the 4 am waking/bottle too, but I have to choose my battles and that is not a big one since he falls asleep again right away at that time. I know that there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not teething, his ears are just fine, he’s fed well and he’s tired when we put him to bed. I honestly think that he just doesn’t want to be alone and is trying to get his way with us. While I love spending time with him I also love spending time with my husband and I love sleeping in my bed and not the rocking chair in Noah’s room!

Wish us luck, because I have a feeling the next few nights will be long ones!

29 thoughts on “And the sleepless nights go on”

  1. We are going through this same thing with Abram. It started a few nights ago, he’ll wake up 30 min to an hour after we put him(and his brothers) down. It took us over an hour last night to get him to stay laying down! The instant we start walking away he either lifts his head or stands up and screams. Poor Elijah was up the whole time too(Josiah sleeps thru anything!).

    I know what you mean about letting them cry it out. It is very hard. I also am having trouble with my growing belly! Hopefully both of our boys will get over this phase!
    .-= Ally┬┤s last blog ..Photo Friday…First muffin tin meal! =-.

  2. I think it’s normal for a baby to want to stay with someone, my son who is almost 4 is still sleeping with us, or one of us, as I did with my first daughter,then when she was 4 and something she wanted to sleep in her own bed.
    I know, intimacy, and all the rest, but, kids come first, for me at least. (P.s.: that’s why I cannot handle more than two ­čśë
    .-= Alessandra┬┤s last blog ..A letter ( about her room chores ) to my 12-y-o daughter. =-.

  3. are you delirious yet?! bless your heart. i hope everything works out for you, i am sure it’s just a phase… here’s hoping! hang in there…

  4. I wish you the best. We did the cry it out thing–yes for three nights it was awful but both of my kids have been amazing sleepers ever since=) I wish you the best!!!

  5. I had similar issues with my oldest. Most nights when she’d wake up, Shane or I would get her out of the crib and just bring her to the bed with us. I got pregnant with baby #2 when Hannah was about 15 months old. As my belly got bigger, it was getting uncomfotable in our little bed with Hannah in bed with us. Of course, she didn’t understand why we weren’t bringing her to our bed when she woke up… and we tried letting her “cry it out”. You’re right… that is so hard for a parent to do! It wasn’t until she was about 18 months or so that we finally just got rid of the crib and put a twin bed in her room. At least that way, when she woke up, Shane or I could go in her room and lay down in the bed with her. Then once she was back to sleep we could return to our own bed, or just stay the rest of the night with her in the twin bed.

    Anyhoo… just stick with it. You’ll figure out what the best solution is and then he’ll be fine!
    .-= Shannon┬┤s last blog ..What I *really* want for Christmas =-.

  6. Hi there!
    Visiting you on your BIG SITS day! After surviving a colicy infant that slept terrible for the first 6 mo. of his life I feel for you, girl. Yes, you do need sleep (and so does your little guy as much as he’s fighting it) we have had our share of sleep issues and I’ve read a lot on the topic per the suggestion of our pediatrician. Have you heard of the book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems”? It’s worked wonders for us, and while it does involve allowing ‘measured amounts’ of crying it’s easy to implement and encouraging to stick with it. The best encouragement I have for you is to just be ready to be consistent with whatever method you choose…be ready to stick to it and eventually your lil fella will learn what’s expected at sleep times.
    Healthy sleep is a skill he must learn.
    It’s hard to be little and unfortunately he’ll be dissappointed at not getting his way all through his life in many areas. With you there to gently and lovingly guide him, it’ll all work out.

  7. I think I mentioned before we had this issue with our first born, Lindsey. It is hard what you are doing, but it will get better. When she started crying I would just go in there and give her a pat and say it was a bad dream and then leave the room. Noah has to learn to fall asleep on his own. Keep at it and he will start to sleep thru the night. You are gonna need him to sleep when the baby comes.

    Oh, I wish you luck hon!
    .-= Vickie┬┤s last blog ..Birthday Card With Baggy Eyes;) =-.

  8. Good luck! We are having issues with our boy two at the moment. Just when I think we have solved the issue and come up with a way to get him to sleep easily he goes and changes the plan!
    .-= Ghada┬┤s last blog ..Decorating the Tree =-.

  9. I am currently an aupair for a two year old and the family and I have the same problem. She only sleeps through the night if she gets to sleep in Mama and Papa’s bed. The dad has a method (but it only works for him) of going to the bedroom door and talking through the crack, so she hears a voice, but doesn’t see the person. When the mom tries it though she just calls for her. When I try it, she says “Niet Libby” (not Libby.)
    I’m sure you’ll get lots of advise…hope something works!!!

  10. My DD is only two months, but sometimes she just refuses to sleep, and can get quite frantic about it. Same as you, I KNOW there’s nothing wrong, she’s just … overstimulated? The firt thing I try is giving her a lengthy warm bath. If that doesn’t work, I give her four drops of Bach Night Time Rescue Remedy or a pillule of Chamomilla. It’s completely natural, and safe in children/babies. It doesn’t make them sleepy, i.e. is not a sleeping tablet or sedative, it just is a natural way of making them calmer. It might be worth a try? DM me if you have any questions. (P.S. I don’t sell it, but google it and you should find a supplier in your area.)

  11. My mom always watched Kojak and MacGyver with me at like 2 AM. Oddly enough, I still have a soft spot for both of them ­čśë Oh, and I eventually learned how to sleep like a normal person, I was just extra colicky to begin with!
    .-= Cheryl┬┤s last blog ..Windows 7 =-.

  12. Oh, even though this was a hundred years ago I remember those sleepless nights well…and that feeling of terror you get when you wake up realizing they’ve slept through the night….so, obviously, something must be wrong. We had to do the cry out thing with our son and I think it might have been worse on me then him. But it only took a few times and then things were better. Congratulations on being the SITS blog.

  13. I think letting him cry is a fine solution. My son, who is 2, still does not sleep through the night. We tried everything, even doctors. I’ve read every sleep book ever printed.

    Sadly we can’t let him cry because we live in an apartment with thin walls and floors. We tried it once and got all sorts of complaints. Now we’re living by the “He’ll grow out of it” hope.

    So good luck, I wish you many sleep filled nights!

    Stopping by from SITS
    .-= Satakieli┬┤s last blog ..Oh, Hello Winter! pt.2 =-.

  14. Happy SITS day! What a GORGEOUS child! Those eyes just swallow you up! My son started this at about 8 months. He just wouldn’t stay asleep. We tried letting him cry it out (which breaks you heart!!) but he would just keep crying and getting more and more upset until he stated gagging or coughing, and then it took an hour to calm him down. So THAT didn’t last long.

    Because of my illness and absolute necessity for sleep, we moved Jacob’s crib in our room, and that seemed to fix it. I think he was just lonely. We only have one child, and won’t be having more, so this isn’t a big deal for us.

    GOOD LUCK!!
    .-= Kerri┬┤s last blog ..What a weekend. =-.

  15. Wow! I can definitely empathize with you. I hope all your efforts pay off, I on the other hand am still trying to find something that works. My DS will be 24 mos. in January. He’s been nursing and co sleeping with us since birth. I said I would let him self wean and gradually try to get him in his own crib/ toddler bed but I’ve had no success. I’ve tried shirts/ blankies with my scent. I’ve gotten in the crib… Don’t ask! I feel as though I’ve exhausted all of my options. DS eats solids, of course but no meal is complete with out being nursed afterward and he doesn’t go to sleep without being nursed either. He’s so used to laying in between hubby and myself that we physically have to be next to him for him to stay asleep. The moment I lay him down he’s up! I get most of my work done at night. I’m mommy to four so, I keep late night hours and that affects his sleeping habits because he wants to be with mommy & daddy. It’s been like this since day 1. He never really slept through the night as a newborn or infant into toddlerhood. So, it’s sort of the norm and that’s not good. I’m really trying to turn this around. I just knew that by the time he was two I’d have everything under control and I don’t. Ugh! This si definitely a work in progress, and I won’t give up.

    Happy SITS Day!
    .-= Jael Custom Designs┬┤s last blog ..Not So Wordless Wednesday =-.

  16. Stephanie Stearns Dulli

    I don’t have any fabulous advice, just lots and lots of hugs. Mine is 16 months and although we had about a month of sleeping through the night…that’s all gone now. We’re back to getting up 3-4 times a night. Everyone tells me to cherish this time, but I think I would cherish it more if I wasn’t so tired and couple play more with him during the day! I hope he sleeps for you soon!!!

  17. I felt that my daughter’s nighttime troubles from age 2-4 were payback for what a terrible sleeper I was as a child. The kids just go through these terrible phases. Then it passes. I often wonder if it’s even anything we do as parents or if it’s just the kid finally maturing enough to stop driving us crazy!

    I found you on SITS – happy featured blogger day!
    .-= Joey┬┤s last blog ..We’re cookin’ (with gas) now! =-.

  18. Happy SITS Day! What a cutie putootie. I feel for you with the sleepless nights. A friend of mine is the only mom I know who has 3 kids on a no fail bedtime schedule. She whipped me into shape with eliminating the nighttime bottle and letting my daughter cry if she woke up. Although it was really, really hard it did work over time. Good luck to you!

  19. Michaela – I found you on SITS! Your son is cute! I feel your pain, my first had sleeping issues too – but I am happy to say he is now a great sleeper! You’ll get there!!
    Wendy

  20. WOW..
    I feel as though I wrote that!
    I am having the EXACT SAME PROBLEM!
    My son is almost 10 months old… and he still wakes up..
    If I try to let him cry it out… he gets so worked up he gets sick.
    Then, I have to change him and the sheets..
    it is very frustrating!
    Stopping by from SITS

  21. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but one day they’ll sleep through the night, stop climbing into your bed, and dog-piling on the floor in your room. And, oddly, you’ll miss it with an odd aloneness. I hope you get a good night’s sleep, though!
    .-= maryleigh┬┤s last blog ..The Devil of a Christmas =-.

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