Prior to being married and having children, I had made up my mind that there were things that I would and wouldn’t do in my marriage and with my children. I had thought that I knew what would be best for me and my not yet existent family just by observing others and deciding what they did right and wrong.
It’s true what they say… you can’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That saying doesn’t just go for passing judgement though… it should also be true for deciding what you will or won’t do as a parent or spouse. The following is a list of thing that I had said I would’t do:
1) My bed will be for my husband and me only.
Truth is that I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times my husband and I have slept alone in this bed since the day Noah was born. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, since Noah was sleeping in the crib in his room at 2 weeks and I would get up for his feedings (the reason why I started blogging), but I can seriously not remember the last time Ray and I have had the bed to ourselves, uninterrupted… for a whole night. And you know what, other than the fact that the little sweat ball kicks us and bruises us, it’s not half bad… especially since both Ray and I have come to the conclusion that we’re fine with sharing the bed as long as they start out in their own beds and we get some time “alone” in ours.
2) My husband will come first… always.
This is a tough one, because in some ways I still believe in this one. My thinking was this… I met my husband before having my children, I plan on living with my husband for a very, very long time and so I don’t want him to feel like he’s at the bottom of the totem pole. While in theory, this may be a good way of thinking, it’s really hard to hold up when you have little ones that require constant attention and who are entirely dependent on you. For now all I know is that there are many times when the kids come first, because he is older and can wait…as for the totem pole… I occupy that bottom position.
3) I won’t be one of those moms that only talks about their kids.
While I think that I have more to talk about than just my children, I do realize that I talk about them… a lot. Mainly because, let’s face the facts here… I am with them more than with anyone else. They can’t even fart without me knowing about it! And because 1) their still so small and 2) their mine, I think that every new thing they do is cute and worthy of talking about to others… like the fact that every morning Abby rips out a huge stinker letting us know that she is awake… I swear that girl makes noises that would make a grown man blush (and her daddy wonder if it was really her!)
4) I would never be too tired to have fun.
Ahem… I have 2 children 19 months apart and (still) under the age of 2… do I really need to explain why I failed this one?
5) My children would not be spoiled and have a ton of toys.
While I do think that Ray and I keep the purchases that we make under control, I can not account for the toys that they get from others. All I know is that I never had as many toys as my son has right now! That said though I think that we are trying hard not to spoil Noah and I think we do good with that… most of the time. I know that we do spoil him in other ways though… like when it comes to sleeping… what can I say, I’m tired and I’m sick of the fights at bed time.
6) I will be able to keep and orderly and clean home, along with taking care of my children.
I’m a clutter bug, but I try to keep the house somewhat organized and picked up, though there’s still much to be done. I’ve been known to have to wash a load of laundry twice because I forgot it was in the washer, I hate to put the folded laundry away and the dewrinkler button is my favorite on our dryer. I thought that I could handle it all, never thinking that my children may have opposing nap schedules making it impossible to sweep (vacuum for all you non-Ohioans) the floors. It’s hard to admit that you’re not super woman!
Sooo…. those are just some of the adjustments that I’ve made to my original plans. I’m curious… did you have something you were totally against, only to find yourself doing it later?