I was putting away the dirty dishes last night, when it hit me… I am the mother of a two year old toddler, who at this very minute is sleeping in a twin bed all by himself! A wave of emotion ran over me at that moment and I had to swallow hard and fight back the tears, because as much as I would like to deny it, my son is growing up.
It’s not just that he is now sleeping in a twin bed (we pulled his convertible bed out completely Saturday night)… or the fact that, with the exception of a tiny dribble this evening (which he stopped in order to finish in the potty), he’s been dry for over 24 hours – including all of last night! (YAY!!) My baby boy is growing up and there is nothing that I can do to stop it… as much as I may want to… and oh there are so many times that I want to do just that!
Although I may complain about the lack of sleep and bedtime fiasco’s… although potty training may be more of a pain in my butt than his, I want to freeze this age… there are so many things that I don’t want him to stop doing… so many things that I find so stinking cute that I can’t bare the thought that it’s not going to be this way forever. I don’t want him to stop saying “yeh-woh” (yellow) instead of “pee”. I love how he says “paw-ee” and runs to the toilet… how he says milk… making it sound more like “muhlk”. I love how he calls Abby “Be-abby”, a mix between “baby” and “Abby”, and showers her with kisses, thousands of them, all day long… needing to hold her hand to fall asleep both at nap-time and bedtime on the nights when they take over our bed. I love how he calls things by the sound that they make instead of by their name… like he does for chicken and airplane… and how he says “ref” and “een” for red and green. I don’t want to forget these things once he’s stopped saying them the way he does right now, but I’m so afraid that I will.
I don’t want him to lose those cute little, chubby cheeks and the dimples he gets when he smiles… or have him stop furrowing his eyebrows at us, just to make us laugh. I hate to think that one day he will stop coming up to me for a snuggle… just because. I want him to continue to get excited about new things and still jump up and run to the door when he hears the garage door open at 5:30. I don’t want things to change…
I hate to think of him growing up and wanting to call me by my first name, instead of Mami… or worse not talking to me at all. I would hate if he were to treat me as unkindly as others I know have treated their mothers… or worse to stop talking to me altogether. I wish I could say that it will never happen, but there’s no way of knowing that.
I don’t know why this is affecting me so much right now… I know that there is something good to be said about every age. Maybe it’s because I look at him and then I look at Abby and I think to myself… “It wasn’t that long ago that he was as small as she is… doing the things that she is…” and I realize just how quickly time passes. It doesn’t really matter what the reason, right now I just want to hold him tight and keep him just as he is for a little while longer long, long time.
What a sweet post!!I am going through this as we are beginning the school year. I can’t believe that I put my baby on the kindergarten bus last year. Now we are a big 1st grader. They grow up too quickly!
I have had these stop-you-in-your-tracks moments before about my son as well and it is really incredible how fast things seem to happen. Last week, while I was taking his 2 year photographs it really hit me just how much he looks like a boy instead of a baby and instantly brought me to tears. Its crazy, and wonderful, and bittersweet all at the same time.
I wrote a post similar to this when the same thing happened…it was a totally unexpected moment and I just suddenly realized my son was a little boy, not a “toddler” or baby anymore. It’s bittersweet 🙂
I spent the morning at my oldest son’s high school orientation and tonight at my baby’s 4th grade meet the teacher night. I have been looking back at their old pics recently, I think each stage, we have to let go a little at a time. I know its are job to raise them to be independent, but sometimes, I dislike that part!
Hey, its me again, not sure why my comment above has a past post from days back, but check out my recent 2 posts, these are some of my kids old pics that I love!
I swear since Avalnn’s arrival time seems to be going even quicker. I know it flies by when you have kids, b/c Emma is turning 4 in 6 weeks – but man, I keep wanting it to slow down some. And I’m right there with you wondering about the future. People always say my girls’ are spoiled with being held as babies and I just tell them well they aren’t going to want me to hold them forever and I’m taking advantage of it now! Lols.
Hi! Thanks for your comment at my place 🙂
I know what you mean – I would freeze time right now if I could too. My 3 and 4 year old are great. (drive me insane just like kids do, but still…) this is my favorite age so far – I can’t imagine better.
I giggled while reading all the cute things your son does. So cute.