It’s the little things

Hand in noodles

I’ve been a roller coaster of emotions lately and it’s the little things that can move me in one direction or the other.

It’s the little things…

Seeing the kids sleeping next to each other right now while on the sofa… Noah’s hand protectively over Abby’s. Listening to them talk and giggle at night, as she crawls into his bed when she really should be in her own. Pretending that a giant is going to come get them if the colored noodles aren’t all off of the floor and in the “magic” bowl.

It’s the little things…

I’ve been thinking about a lot lately… my mind is constantly flip-flopping between thoughts… Am I a good parent, or am I too strict? Is this size big enough for this new product, or should it be larger? Is it bad that I’m not blogging more often? The house is a mess, but does it make sense to clean all of the floors if we’ll be doing more demo tonight? I should be sewing, I have so much that I want to make and I wish I could be sewing right now; why aren’t I sewing? I feel like I’ve been posting too much fluff lately; why can’t I just write what I want to write and is anyone still reading this anyway?

I know that I can’t do it all… I can’t take care of the kids, make sure that they are happy and the house is clean {or cleanish} and at the same time work full time on Noby Designs and this blog… well I guess that I could, if I sacrificed sleep and possibly my marriage by working my tail off after the  kids are in bed.  But the truth of the matter is that by the time the kids are in bed, I’m in need of some rest too. Still, there’s that little voice in the back of my head that keeps nagging me… you really shouldn’t be sitting here, you should be doing something productive.

It’s the little things…

I’ve always said that it’s the little things in life that make me happy. They really do… but it’s also the little things that get me worked up in the other way too… and lately that seems to be the case much to often. I finally decided today that I’m the only one who can change that… I can either let the small things eat away at me and tear me down bit by bit, or I can turn my back to them and grow stronger. I need to grow stronger, because I feel so weak and fragile right now.  I need see my children smiling, hear their laughter… I need to keep my hands busy, either by sewing, embroidering, knitting or crocheting, and I need to write. My soul needs me to write… and lately I feel that the posts on this blog have been a lot of “fluff”… more photos than words, because I could only think of one thing and I didn’t want to write about that any more. I wanted to try to keep this little space in the internet light and happy, thinking that if I did then maybe I would be too… and while there are many days where I am truly happy, that’s not always the case.

So… the children are starting to wake up and my time to “do something” is coming to an end. There will be changes coming to the blog… I plan on making a few visual changes and changing the content a little. I need to write… without hesitation and without feeling like I am censoring myself, because I have been. But right now, I’m going to go play with my kids and have some fun.