Friday Flashback – Faking It

Today’s flashback goes back to March 2010… it was my second post for OurMommyhood and it had nothing to do with parenting. In fact, it was about something that I still struggle with to some extent today. So here it is…

Faking It

I’ve been faking it. There I said it and do you want to know something? I feel a little better now that I did. Let me stop your mind from wandering though and clear things up before it gets too far into the gutter… the thing that I’ve been faking is… I’m not an extrovert. Not by any means.

I’m an introvert through and through. I have been all of my life… so much so that in school some people thought that I was a snob when really I was just shy. Yet… when it comes to being online, I’ve been trying my hardest to be an extrovert. So, yes… I’ve been faking it, because being an extrovert when you’re really an introvert is hard work. It’s something that I often feel I’m still not very good at, but I try.

It’s funny, because for much of my life I was in situations where I had to be extroverted… I was a cheerleader in high school… I worked retail and sales jobs… I schmoozed with vendors at trade fairs, but the whole time I was just waiting for the chance to be able to be “me” again.

To some extent, the same applies online. While it’s easy for me to put myself out there on my blog and bare my soul for all to see, I find it hard to take the first step and approach others. I find it hard to approach not only PR and companies that I would love to do reviews for, but also other moms that are out there. I have to put on my “game face” when I do and I’ll be honest… I’m sweating bullets the whole time, because it’s a big deal for me. I’m constantly second guessing myself and wondering if I did everything ok or said anything that could be misconstrued or taken the wrong way.

I sometimes wish I could be the social butterfly that my sister is… that it would be easier for me to approach people without all of the inner commentary that goes on in my mind. But… that’s not me… so I will continue to put on my game face and be an extrovert when I have to, all the while glad that I have my warm, soft, safe introverted world to go back to when it’s all over.

So there it is… I’ve been faking it all this time. There are some things that I have come to terms with … I no longer worry about approaching PR to do reviews, because that is no longer something that plays a major role on here. I’ve also learned to set priorities… there were times in the past when I felt that I needed to be present online on a daily basis and I was upset with myself when I wasn’t blogging daily… I’m not like that anymore. My family and my children come first… no question about it. I still love blogging and reading blogs, but it is no longer something that has to happen… in fact now there are times when blogging has to take a back seat to me working on Noby products… but enough about that… I can hear the kids awake upstairs, which means that naptime and blogtime are over… I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!