It seems that in our family no get together is complete unless there is some sort of drama involved… some with more… some with less, but always a little. There was no shortage of drama this past weekend and the weeks leading up to it.
Anyone who knows me, knows that (being a Libra) I am not one who likes 1) drama and 2) confrontations of any kind. I’m the person who tries to avoid getting into the middle of things at all costs. Now… that doesn’t mean that I will not listen to family members gripe and groan about each other and what’s going on… it just means that I prefer not to take sides… if given the chance, I try to be Switzerland. When asked, I try to give constructive and unbiased advice while keeping both sides in mind… but that’s about it.
Like I had said, the weeks leading up to this past weekend were filled with drama – more than I cared to hear about and more than I felt was necessary… I tried to help where I could, but kept my mouth shut for the most part. Many text messages were sent and quite a few phone calls were made. In fact, there were phone calls made prior to our getting on a plane Thursday and it seemed like things were coming to a close… it was too late in the day to make any large changes in plans (in my opinion as well as others) and I tried to help and comfort as best as I could from a distance, knowing that soon it would all be over. At least that’s what I had thought… boy was I naive.
It turned out that this past weekend was nothing like I thought it would be. What was supposed to be a happy and joyous event turned into a “slap in the face and I can’t believe this is happening” drama fest. It did not need to and should not have turned out this way, but unfortunately it did.
Some things… hurtful, spiteful things (imho) happened and due to these events, I found out the full background story from one of my loved ones involved. That just put things into a whole different perspective. I now understood better and could see that what I had thought was the whole picture was anything but that. As I sat there on the patio overlooking the Gulf and watching my son play with my cousins and family that had flown in from Germany and IL, I felt like I had been sucker punched and just wanted to cry. I still could not get over the events from the night before and I could understand them even less after hearing the news that I had just heard.
I made the most of the celebration that evening, but the whole thing left a sour taste in more mouths than just mine alone. I was determined not to let what had happened ruin my vacation though… the one that I had been looking forward to for months… the one that got me out of the Midwest for a few days. I We still ended up having a good time… it’s hard not to when you see your son smiling from ear to ear and getting along so well with family that you love… family that he has never met and won’t see again for years to come.
The evening and weekend could have been better though had other decisions been made… had compromises been made… so now… instead of wondering what the happy couple is up to, I wonder… what are and were they thinking. Did they have this planned all along… and if so why? Why put a loved one through such an ordeal? Why cause so much pain one day before what is supposed to be such a happy day? How long will it be before any of us hear from them again and when will we ever see them again? I find the whole thing to just be sad and depressing.
I learned a valuable lesson this weekend… it is sometimes impossible to stay out of the drama… especially when family is involved. I also learned that if I am going to get sucked into the whole big giant mess… then I had better be sure that I’ve heard the whole story from both sides. I can then still try and be Switzerland… but unfortunately it wasn’t possible in this case.
We all have to sleep in the beds that we make for ourselves and we have no one to blame but ourselves if the bed is uncomfortable.