F-ing Cancer

Cancer frigging sucks… we have had more than our fair share here in my family. My Opa (my mom’s dad) had lung and stomach cancer, his sister – my great aunt – passed away after battling colon cancer for years… an aunt of mine had breast cancer… and now I find out that the prostate cancer that my uncle has is spreading fast (faster than his doctor his seen before) and it’s not responding to treatment. From what I heard Thursday, it doesn’t look good.

I love having an international family. I love that I had the chance to live both here in the States and in Germany. I love that I was able to grow up bilingual so that I could talk to all of my family and not just the family over here. I just hate that I can’t just get in a car to go and see my loved ones over there. I hate that it takes an 8 ½ hour flight, plus another 2 ½ hour drive and hundreds of dollars to be able to go see them. It’s times like these, when something is wrong or when someone is sick, where having an international family is a curse.

I love my family… I had a lot of great times while living over in Germany… they opened their hearts and their homes to me… they were more than just extended family, they were my second family. It kills me not knowing if and when I will be able to see them again and it breaks my heart every time I hear of something happening to one of them.

Lately, it just seems like there has been a lot of bad news coming from over there… in addition to my uncles cancer (which we found out he had last summer or fall), my Oma suffered multiple strokes after returning back home from her vacation in Florida this past November. She had been in the hospital and in rehab up until recently and is no longer able to live in her old apartment, because she has a hard time walking and would never make it up and down the 2 flights of stairs. She now lives with my mom’s sister… the one whose husband is dealing with the “C” word.

What kills me is that my aunt and uncle just retired last year. They worked their tails off for years in the restaurant that they owned and finally had the chance to rest and relax and enjoy their lives away from the hustle of the city. They moved back to the town that my aunt grew up in… into the house that was once owned by my great-great aunts. They waited patiently for years before moving into it… and now that they have, this happens. It just doesn’t seem right. It isn’t right. This shouldn’t be happening, not to them. They are good people and don’t deserve this.

So yes… I freaking hate cancer… I hate that my aunt had it and that her daughters have to be afraid because it runs in their family… I hate that my Opa had it… I hated seeing my great aunt have to deal with it for years, always having to go back for more chemo and more radiation… year after year after year. I freaking hate cancer and I wish it would just leave my family the f*%k alone.

14 thoughts on “F-ing Cancer”

  1. I’m so sorry sweetie! I haven’t dealt with a lot of cancer but I’ve dealt with a LOT of family illness and know how much it sucks. Let me know if you ever need to talk!
    .-= Paula´s last blog ..Friday Follow =-.

  2. Please consider that you might be affected by a hereditary cancer syndrome. The one that my family is affected by is genetic, caused by a mutation in the CDH1 gene. It causes diffuse stomach, lobular breast, and there is a colon cancer risk as well.

    There are other genetic syndromes as well that may be in play in your family. Please consider genetic counseling.

    Karen Chelcun Schreiber

  3. Ditto that – I hate cancer.
    I’m so sorry! totally sucks! I can relate – my mom died of pancreatic cancer 10 years ago.
    Stay strong!!

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