LTMF – Five weeks


Five weeks – It is now the last week of September – my birthday week. Time truly does not stand still and over one month has passed already.

The kids have been back to school over a month now and, thankfully, we’re getting back into old familiar routines. Both kids love going to school (most days) and Michael equally loves his time alone with me. There have been lots more snuggles this past week; we’ve both needed them. We’ve also started going for walks with a two other women in the neighborhood. We go a few times a week; the fresh air and movement feel so good.

Michael turned two last week – we didn’t do much, just had a small little party for the 5 of us. I baked a cake and Ray made Mongolian beef in the wok… both ended up being disasters. The cake tasted good, but was far too dense. Michael got two plush minions from us – one large, one small – and they have not left him since. He has to take his “mini’s” with him everywhere, it’s really cute to watch.

Work has started on the kids’ new bedroom. It’s happening quickly now – the loft railing is down, the new wall and closet are up. The electrician came yesterday and moved the outlets and light switches. Now we have to wait for the permit to be finalized and the inspector to come and sign off on everything, before moving forward.

I went to my 16 week appointment yesterday. Everything sounded good – little girl’s heart was beating at 153 bpm. I still haven’t felt her move yet and I think that’s what is most unsettling to me. Having gone through a loss before, I can’t help but continue to fear the worst until those regular little movements start. It should be soon though. I felt both Abby and Michael by 15 weeks, and Noah at 18.

I’ve been feeling very “lustlos” lately, sorry, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I feel like even now, I’m still just going through the motions on a daily basis. I have a list of chores/cleaning, and errands that I like to get accomplished everyday, and I do for the most part, but that’s about it. Keeping up with a fairly regular cleaning schedule means that the house is never in too much disarray, even after all the construction work that was done this week… it’s still not perfect, but it’s much better than it was. After all the chores are done, I try make sure that I have something to keep my hands busy, crocheting and knitting means that I’m counting and not thinking about other things.

The two little ones are supposed to be sleeping, but I can hear them playing together up in their room. Noah had an early release day today, so he’s already home and they know that. I fear that they won’t nap and the time between dinner and bedtime will be horrific. I guess it’s time to release the minions and deal with the terror to come!! haha

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