I wish… again

About a year and a half ago, it was just Ray, Noah and me. We had had some rough times with Noah shortly after he was born. He needed to be retested over and over again for his newborn screening, which he kept failing… eventually causing us to drive downtown to to Children’s Memorial Hospital for even more tests. After almost two months of uncertainty, we got the news that we were hoping for… the news that, deep down in my core, I had already known to be true… our little boy was healthy. We could breath again.

I think sometimes as parents we take having a healthy child for granted… it’s not until the “what if’s” or “worst case” scenario look us in the eye, that we realize that it could be our child sitting there. Despite the hardships we had with Noah, I am still caught off guard at times… this was one of those times.


I wish and hope that I am, and can be, as kind and compassionate as others are.

Yesterday Noah and I did some shopping. One of the stores we had to go to was our local home improvement store. While walking around, I saw another mother pushing her child in a stroller… and thought once again that I wished our stroller would fit in my trunk, but it doesn’t. As I was checking out, the same mother came up behind me to check out as well. Noah was naturally hamming it up, as he usually does when people gush over him… and the cashier was gushing (he did look cute in his little polar bear snow suit!). The woman behind me chuckled at Noah and I looked back and smiled to acknowledge her. Her son looked to be older than Noah… maybe 18 months with dark curly hair and big brown eyes. As I looked down further I saw the scars on his face, and then the arms… and then I noticed that his hand had been amputated and from beneath the coat that covered his legs, it looked like his feet had been too. My heart sank as I realized the pain he must have gone through already in his short life. The cashier was finishing up with me and I was fumbling to get everything back in my purse and cart, and moved out of the way. I felt like an idiot, because all that I had done was smile at them, more so even when I heard the cashier start gushing… just as she had with Noah.

I felt like a fool, because here I was thinking… oh that poor boy… what happened to him. The cashier could have reacted the same way, but she didn’t… her reaction, I felt, was so much better. I went to my car, put Noah in the car seat and gave him a little kiss. I then prayed… for the little boy, that everyone he meets be as kind to him as the woman in the store, that he not have to go through any more pain… I prayed for his mother… for the cashier, that she continue to be so compassionate…and I prayed that Noah stay safe.

It is a blessing to have a healthy child. We found that out in the few weeks after Noah’s birth (but that is a post on its own). I thanked God yesterday to be so blessed.


{This post is part of the SITS Back to Blogging event. This week I’ll be looking back at posts I’ve written and getting back to my blogging roots… oh yeah and each post enters me in a sweepstakes to win these beauties… you know that I need them with two little ones!! Thanks to SITS, Standards of Excellence, Florida Builder Appliances and Westar Kitchen and Bath for sponsoring this event.}

5 thoughts on “I wish… again”

  1. I grew up with a handicapped father. My sister had two special needs babies and now she is married to a man with a special needs daughter. I’m still not as comfortable and easy as she is. Believe me it takes conditioning and frequency. Don’t feel bad at all. It really is a natural ability in some people. It was nice of you to pray.

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